Posts Tagged ‘tucker’
Ouch
Dear Veterinary Office,
Thank you so much for the reminder that was in my mailbox today. An adorable little card with a puppy smiling up at me. The card’s purpose was to remind me to get shots for my dog and was signed “Love Tucker”.
Tucker passed away a year ago. At your office. I would think that somewhere in your records there should be a little box that you can check. Something that says something along the line of “Dog Deceased. Don’t send salt to dump in owner’s wounds.”
But really, thanks for the card.
Ally
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Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday again Beeshes! Crap. It’s only Tuesday? How many more days until a day off? 4??? That’s just a mean joke people. A mean, mean joke. However if you want to make Tuesday a bit more bearable, go see Keely, our fearless leader. She’s got the info on ALL.THE.RANDOMNESS. that goes down on Tuesdays. So go. It’s fun. You want to. You know you do.
- I just realized that MooshInIndy is following me on twitter. I’ve made the big time now, yo. WHOOT.
- What should C be for Halloween? I’m thinking something cute because soon enough he is going to want to be a dead soccor playing with a hatchet stuck in his head and I’ll be damned if I don’t get some cuteness out of him while I have the POWER.
- C has been lounging in J’s infant carrier all morning watching Diego. It’s adorable, but reminds me of just how big he really is.
- I got my flu shot on Thursday. I even got a sticker.
- I’m addicted to mini games on Facebook. However, now that Cindy got the most ridiculous score EVAH in Bejeweled I think I may have to give up on that one.
- Sweater weather is officially here in full swing. The heat is on, and the down comforter is out. Bring it.
- Dear Winter, Please don’t snow on nights I have to work. I am a big pansy about driving in the slippery white stuff. KThanxBai.
- C has entered the stage of repeating everything he hears. He now says on command “Damn you Scuba Steve”. Daddies shouldn’t be involved in the teaching of phrases.
- I miss my pup. Fall was always our favorite time to have some good adventures. He would have been 4 in the beginning of November. I miss him every day.
- I’m addicted to gum.
- I want to move.
- Anywhere.
- But.
- Here.
Go see Keely. Now. Or she might sic the Zombies on you.
Letting Go
I’m no good at letting go or saying goodbye. I go around and around in circles, trying to find a way to avoid the pain that accompanies those final acts. This applies to pretty much anything, from giving away baby clothes to attending funerals. Last month my family and I said farewell to our little doggie-man, Tucker.
I have some guilt about not being in the room as he was being put down. I had the boys that morning, so my attendance wasn’t really possible, but I can’t say that I would have been able to be there anyway. I just couldn’t watch my 4 year old dog go from a lively, energetic pup to still and silent. I just couldn’t.
We chose to have Tucker individually cremated, and we recently received his ashes. Now I feel as though I am at square one, and have to find a way to say goodbye all over again. We are struggling to decide how we wish to lay his ashes, to scatter them or to bury the box that contains them. We moved three times in the four years we owned him, so I don’t feel as though he had a special place that I would want to scatter him. I am leaning towards a burial, since then I could put one of his special things with him, and that would make the spot more his.
Tucker was a huge part of our life, and this final act means alot to Jim and I. I am really unsure of what to do, this is my first time as an adult having a pet pass and I really want to do something special for him. For now he is in our office on a bookshelf, waiting for his final resting place. This morning I took him out and took a final picture of what is tangibly my dog, with Maddie’s purple flowers in the background.
GoodBye Buddy-man
Today I made the decision to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I put my beloved Boston Terrier to sleep.
We got Tucker when he was 8 weeks old. I brought him home from Maryland in the front pocket of my hoodie. He fit in the palm of my hand. I told Jim he was an early birthday gift to him, but he was really for me.
I had been having panic attacks at this point for almost 6 months and had been reading online about the calming influence of animals on people with anxiety. Add this to the fact that Boston puppies are among the cutest creatures on God’s green earth, and you have a recipe for a new pet. Tucker and I were always together, he slept under the blankets on my bed, and would nose his way into my sweatshirts with me so he could be as close as possible.
I was worried when Chase was born, but my fears were quickly put at ease. Tucker was so gentle with Chase, so willing to be a pillow or punching bag…whichever made his baby happier.
Last fall, during my pregnancy with Jimmy, Tucker began having seizures. He would seize and seize, his 17lb body wracked by convulsions. When the violent part was over he would attempt to stand, only to fall over. It was heartbreaking to watch and the medicine just wasn’t helping him. The Vet suggested that he most likely had a brain tumor, in which case there just wasn’t anything to do.
We continued the medication, trying so hard to control the thunderstorms that were invading our small black and white friend’s brain. Over time we noticed his personality changing. He was distant, I can’t remember the last time he came and jumped up in my lap. He lost the ability to hold his bladder, and was very excitable. He became aggressive with the babies.
We put Tucker down this morning with heavy hearts and tortured souls. He was only 4 years old, and should have had a long life ahead of him. I know we made the right choice for our pup, but I want my dog back. I want the dog that would sit at my feet while I sat on the bathroom floor, completely taken over by panic. I want the dog that had to sleep every night entirely covered by a blanket. I want the dog that always had a stuffed animal to sleep with. I want the dog that would lick my babies feet to get them to laugh. I want the dog that just wanted to be with his people. I want the dog that he used to be.
I want my dog.
Tucker the *beeep*
Chase and Tucker are best friends. They are never far apart from each other, and truly have some serious fun together!
