Posts Tagged ‘life’
Tuesday – Poop Day
I was awakened very early this morning by a naked little Chase-face informing me. “I wanna put my jammies on.”
He had his jammies rolled in a ball in his arms, as well as his undies. Suddenly I was wide awake. “Why are you naked buddy? Why did you take them off?”
“I pooped” he replied.
I eyed the pile of clothes on my bed with horror. Could it be? Was there a pile of crap filled pajamas on my haven of sleep?
“Where did you poop? Did you have an accident?”
“NOOOOO Mommy! I pooped in the potty downstairs!”
I relaxed a little and Chase climbed up on my bed, tucking his legs under his bare booty. My heart sung with pride that my three year old GOT UP AND POOPED all by himself. I told him what a good big boy he was and that he could watch some extra Dora today. His smile went ear to ear and his chest puffed out with pride.
Then he hopped off my bed and I looked down to see a poop smear on my too many to count count sheets.
“CHASE! YOU NEED TO WIPE!”
Gah. Can I go back to bed now?
Cha Cha Cha Changes
I hate and love this time of year all at the same time.
This year is proving to be worse than most.
There are SO many changes happening here, peeps. I’m trying really hard to wade my way through and keep my head above water but HOLY CANNOLI can I get some peace?
I start classes back up in about 2 weeks (BOOO). I like school. Really. I do. I’m just already exhausted and the idea of adding 3 classes to my plate does NOT sound appealing. Nor does taking a chance of screwing up the 3.89 GPA I have managed to keep. I will be teh angry if I mess that up.
Chase starts preschool *SOB* the second week of September. I’M NOT READY. He, however, is all sorts of ready to get out of this house and away from his baby brother and will be fine. He is also pretty much potty trained. I find that to be fantastic. Even more so that my lovely mother in law basically took care of that while I was away. Word.
We will 99% be moving in November. Phooey. I love this place, but the 8-ball says we need to suck it up and live somewhere cheaper until I am finished school. So, once again…moving right before Christmas. Wonderful.
Then there is the thing of which I cannot speak. I am gag ordered due to courts and judges and stuff…but there could be some big changes in a pretty big part of our life. We should know SOMETHING soon. So keep your fingers crossed for us, m’kay?
In a couple weeks I will submit my official petition to enter clinical in my school’s nursing program. I am done all of my pre-requisites so this is the big shebam. I would begin clinical fall of 2011. I am not super nervous about it, I really want to start Fall 2012 when Chase is in kindergarten, so we will see. I should know by January if I am in or not. Don’t hold your breath, probably not getting in.
I am working hard to make some changes in my work schedule. Let’s just say the schedule I have now is the worst thing you could possibly imagine. I am hoping to change it to something tolerable. I am currently being ignored about it. It’s making me rammy. They aren’t going to like me soon.
So yeah. A lot going on. Forgive me if I seem to be losing my mind a little bit in the next coming months. This is going to be an interesting year.
Blogher: Introduction To ME!
My little corner of the Internet is buzzing. In two! weeks I will be on my way to Philadelphia International to pick up Jenn from the airport. After some serious SQUEEEEEEEEing we will be on our way back to my humble little suburb for the evening. Two! weeks from tomorrow we will wake up on HER BIRTHDAY and mosey our way up to the Big Apple courtesy of chauffeur services demanded offered by my darling husband. (Thanks babe!)
Anywhoo. I’ve never been to BlogHer before so I can’t offer up any advice for newbies (me) and while I havebeen to NYC more times than I can count…I still get lost, so no sightseeing advice either. So. Here is what I got. A little bit about me even though I am under no illusion that I am interesting enough for anyone to truly care, hee hee.
- I am extremely awkward. Even more so around large groups. Pair that with a couple thousand women I don’t know and you will likely find me in a pool of stuttering mess.
- However…I LOVE to talk. Once you get me going I am a good time, I promise!
- I have panic attacks. I am not overly dramatic about them, but if you see me and I look like a deer in headlights? A hug would be in order. Please and Thank You. Need a hand to hold yourself? Mine will always be available.
- I dislike dressing up. While I will probably throw on a casual dress at some point during the conference, chances are I will feel somewhat out of place in it. I’ll deal. It’s cool.
- My list of people I MUST hug is about 3 pages long. Most of my absolutes have sent me cell phone numbers to ensure we find each other in the swarm of yapping women. If you haven’t and want to meet me? Send me an email with your cell to ali-at-mylifewiththem-dot-com. Capice?
- If I am for some reason on your list of people you want to meet…come talk to me! I am fairly shy though I put on a good game sometimes. *cough twitter cough* I am NO good about approaching groups alone. I am going to work on this, but…we will see.
- I have serious ADD. Oh look, something shiny! What? Who? Where was I?
- I have smaller feet than the rest of my roomies. No shoe swaps for me. Sad Panda.
- I have NEVER been away from my husband overnight unless I was in the hospital after having his babies. Can’t say that I cared much then. This is going to be a totally new experience for me. I may need someone to spoon with.
- I’m looking for someone to go walk around NYC on Thursday afternoon with the sole intention to take some pictures for a couple hours. Nothing long or crazy. Just a buddy to shoot with.
- I will be at the Starbucks in the Hilton numerous times throughout the conference. Coffee meet-ups are a must.
- I have boring hair.
- I fidget.
- I like Jager bombs and I like Blue Moon even more.
- I have no desire to be DRUNK at any point. I would like to maintain a constant level of tipsy. Let’s do that.
- I have some guilt about leaving the boys and coming to this conference at all. I am going to try damn hard to tell the guilt to suck it and have a good time.
- Have I mentioned I want to meet you?
De-Lurk PLEASE! Leave a comment, I want to know what is going on with you!
Are you coming to BlogHer? Are you partying with the Blogher-at-Home ladies? Are you doing something else insanely awesome that weekend? Are you stuck working?
The one where I talk about healthcare
I am not a politically outspoken person. I have my opinions about it, but unless you are a close friend chances are you won’t hear it. I vote, but I don’t make a huge announcement out of it.
However I feel the need to voice my opinion on the HUGE debate going on with health care in our country right now. Yesterday on my way to work there were two men standing on a main corner in my town holding signs touting how horrible our president is and how the health care bill is such a bad thing.
I am not going to lie. I don’t know the nitty gritty of the bill. I know some of the basics and have picked up on some info simply because I work in a hospital and it is talked about often. I don’t have a super dramatic story about how I was denied coverage for a pre-existing condition. I don’t follow CNN’s every moment. I just know MY story and how I wish that there had been more options for me.
I was uninsured for most of my adult life.
My husband didn’t have insurance for 10 years.
I stopped going to school full time at 19, so I lost my benefits that were carried by my parents insurance plan. I was on my own. I truly didn’t care much, I really don’t get sick much and I was 19….invincible. I worked FULL TIME. I PAID TAXES. I was not a “lush”. I was not “scamming the system”. My job simply did not offer benefits that were anywhere near affordable and they did not pay for any portion of them. I worked as a waitress…restaurant jobs are great for quick money, not so great for benefits.
There were a couple times during the years between 19 and 24 that having insurance would have helped me greatly. Like when I contracted pneumonia and waited until I was so sick that I had to be admitted to the hospital because I was hoping it would get better on it’s own. Like all the times I had to push through protesters to get into Planned Parenthood to pick up birth control so I could be responsible, since I couldn’t afford to go to a regular OBGYN. Like the days of agonizing pain when I had cavities that there was no way I could pay a dentist to fix. There were so many times…
When I was 24 I became pregnant with Chase. A friend of mine told me to apply for state insurance to cover me while I was pregnant. I did a pre-screening and found out I made about 200$ a month too much. I had to WORK LESS to be eligible. Is that scamming the system? I don’t know. But it was my only option.
Chase was born and after my 6 week postpartum appointment I was kicked off state insurance, but he was able to stay on…provided I only made a certain amount. I was a bartender at this point and now stuck between making enough money to help support my family…or making too much money and my child not being insured. It was a really hard place to be. I hated being CAPABLE of making more money…but not able to.
When Chase was 9 months old I became pregnant with Jimmy and back on state insurance I went. This time after he was born, since we were now a family of 4, I was able to continue on with state insurance for a while. I was able to stay home with my boys and only work Friday and Sundays. I was my children’s primary caregiver and it made me so happy to be in that roll.
When Jimmy was 6 months old I had to make a decision. We needed to be making more money…but if we made more money the boys and I would be kicked off the insurance policy.I priced out buying insurance for the family privately and it was upwards of 600$ A MONTH. I was floored. There was no way we could pay that.
I talked with a good friend of mine and she agreed to take the boys a couple days a week for me for a very low fee. I was SO LUCKY in finding the job that I did, it is truly a blessing. Working at the hospital has brought me a lot of joy in that I love my job. I love being able to provide benefits for my whole family. I love being in a health care setting.
I love being with my kids more. If there had been insurance offered by my husband’s job…I’d still be a stay at home mom. If there had been an affordable option for us to purchase…I would be a stay at home mom. Instead I am out of my children’s presence more than I am in it. I pass them off with a kiss every afternoon on my way to work. I rarely see my husband, as I try to work on his days off to cut down their time away from their parents.
We never wanted to be on state provided insurance, we weren’t trying to milk the system. However the system that is in place is not for us. We worked our asses off… and for all intensive purposes we were punished for it by making too much.
I don’t know what the solution is. I don’t know if this bill is it. I do know that someone needs to be done. I do think that health insurance is something that should be afforded to everyone. I think that the number of people in this country who can’t go to the doctor when they are sick is atrocious. I think the number of people cluttering up emergency rooms with simple illnesses just because it is there only option is horrendous. I think that while my Canadian friends will readily admit their system is not perfect, they are damned grateful for it.
If it is your right to carry a gun…it damned well better be MY right to get sewn up when someone shoots me and not owe for the rest of my life due to it.
That’s my opinion.
Posted in Uncategorized | 
Tags: family, health, I'm scurred, life, pissed off, politics, work | 
No Comments »
Onward
Boxes are stacked against all the walls, their destinations scrawled across them in black.
Boys Room
Kitchen
The cabinets are empty and the beds are stripped. For the first time, there are no toys on the floor. Not one. The bookshelves are bare. The laundry room is clean, and there are no clothes strewn around. All of our pictures and memories are carefully wrapped and placed lovingly into more boxes.
Chase turned one in this house, and then turned two. We got the news of Jimmy in this house, and then brought him home to it. This was Tuckers last home. I’ve spent hundreds of hours in the upstairs hallway pacing with a colicky baby, and the rug shows evidence of it. We’ve made countless bottles standing half awake at the sink in the kitchen. So many baths have been given. There is still a hint of one of Chase’s coloring escapades on the wall. Jimmy took his first steps here, and Chase said “I love you”. So many memories.
Moving to a new home is always bittersweet for me. The excitement and new possibilites are mellowed by just a bit of sadness.
We have only lived here for two years, but what a huge two years it was.
The Strength of Many
I don’t know why it even surprises me anymore.
Our community is strong.
The first time I saw it in action was after the passing of Heather and Mike’s sweet baby girl Maddie. I was a newborn to the blogging world and twitter, just dipping my toes in the social media world after years of Myspace and Facebook. The outpouring of love for this young family that was going through the unthinkable was quick and true.
We love you and we are going to find someway to help the best we can
This is the message that has been spread. People show their love and support through blog posts, hundreds and hundreds of them. When Mckmama’s warrior Stellan has headed to the hospital in critical condition multiple times over the last few months, the response has been the same.
We support you and want you to know you aren’t fighting alone.
Messages on Twitter are re-tweeted, and updates spread like wildfire. No one is left out of the loop. Everyone has an equal investment in the pain. No one dares suggest that because we are “only friends on the Internet” that we shouldn’t be upset. My own husband has given up trying to understand, as he watches me read “The Spohrs Are Multiplying” every morning, most days tears and laughter emitting from me together.
Our community is loving.
Anissa is a fabulous woman. I have only had the pleasure of direct interaction with her a handful of times, but over the course of my day she makes me laugh more than anyone on the interwebs. She is caring, strong, hilarious, gentle when needed, and quick….so quick to jump when a friend needs her.
She needs us. Anissa suffered a stroke yesterday and needs prayers if you’re the praying type, or just general good juju is you’re not. Gather up all the positive energy in your mind and send it towards an ICU bed in Atlanta.
Anissa, I am so hoping for a wonderful recovery for you. I fully expect you to be back and eating kittens soon.
**For updates and ways to help, please visit the Aiming Low website.**
Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: Anissa, Faith., family, health, interwebs, life, Love, pain, People, relationships, twitter | 5 Comments »
Not The Same
I love Christmas. I love getting our tree. I love unwrapping ornaments and hanging them. I love Christmas music. I love hunting down the perfect dated ornament each year. I love all the cheesy Christmas movies that are on. I love driving around and looking at lights. I love shopping.
I especially loved the look on Chase’s face last year when he came downstairs on Christmas morning.
We made the Holidays a big deal last year. I was 6 weeks or so from my due date, and we really wanted to make it special for Chase. I’m so glad we did, since I got put on bed rest on New Years Eve and couldn’t do anything with him.
He got new blocks, and has been obsessed with building ever since. (Please ignore my prego-ness)
His Auntie Jessa got him this tent, his smile says it all.
Later, at MomMom and PopPop’s he played with his “cousin” Ammo.
In a very sweet moment, Chase’s Great PopPop played the piano with him.
Last Christmas was special for so many reasons. It was our last holiday as a family of 3. It was Chase’s first “real” Christmas.
Last year four generations of men in our family celebrated.
This year there will be only three.
We love and miss you PopPop D.
I’m old News.
A phone conversation with Chase:
Me: Hey buddy, it’s Mama. Hi Chase!
Chase: Hi Chase!
Me: No, say Hi Mama.
Chase: Hi Mama!
Me: Are you having fun at Jenny’s? Are you playing with Kylie? What did you have for dinner?
Chase: Oh mama, Jenny. Kylie fun. Oh mama, CHICKEN. CHICKEN mama.
Me: You had chicken? That’s nice. How’s Jimmy. Is brother being good?
Chase: Jimmy no chicken. Chase chicken. Chicken fun, Mama. Chicken for Chase.
Me: Daddy will be there to get you soon, Bud. Night Night Chase, love you.
Chase: No Daddy. Stay Jenny and Chicken. Night Mama, lub wu. Lub chicken too Mama.
Sigh. I’ve been so easily replaced.
Time
I’ve been taking a bit of a step back from social media and the damn Internet in general in the last few days. Don’t worry, I’m still here…but I’m not allowing it to rule my days.
I spend a ridiculous amount of time with my fingertips on an electronic device. I check Facebook and Twitter, email and message boards that I am a part of. I have to check in on my bank accounts and school work. I poke in my Fantasy leagues to see how badly I’m losing (Matt, your on my shit list). I pull up Google Reader and read all my favorite blogs. Then when I’m finished, I end up starting at the beginning and checking them all again.
It really ends up being a way bigger part of my day then it needs to be and I think that needs to change. I have so much that I need to do every day that ends up being pushed to the side because I get sucked into the black hole that is TweetDeck, or get started playing Bejeweled on FaceBook.
I’m going to start trying to stay off the internet in the mornings before I go to work. Not that I won’t be on at all, but I want to spend more productive time with the boys, and I want to get all the things done that I’ve been putting off. I can’t do that if I’m glued to my laptop.
I’m also participating in National Novel Writing Month. I’ve actually written a novel. I finished it when I was 23, but it sits in a drawer in my room because I’m not motivated enough about my writing to see if it’s any good. I’m excited about the challenge of 50,000 words in 30 days. I think it will be fun and I am enjoying the chaos of getting to know and create characters in such a short time. My story is taking form quickly, and I’m really having fun writing it.
So…that’s what I’m trying to do. It doesn’t mean I won’t be around to chat with. It doesn’t mean I’m not here if you need me. I’ll be doing a little lurking, trying to comment on more blogs and respond to more of my comments here. Twitter gets in the way of my blogging sometimes and that’s going to change.
Mwah.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: busy, interwebs, life, People, relationships, twitter | 4 Comments »
Missed
I don’t write anymore.
This isn’t writing, at least not for me. I used to really write. It was effortless, my pen would touch my notebook and the words would pour out of me. I would read it over and almost not believe that the perfectly intertwined thoughts had actually made their way out of my head.
I miss it. I think a lot about what has changed, why I can’t ever seem to make anything sound right to me. Sometimes I think it is because I rarely sit down with pen and paper. Sometimes I think it is because I don’t get any time to really sit and think.
Mostly I think it is because I am happy.
The writing that I am most proud of came during some of my darkest times. It was born of heartbreak and misery. It was written with tears in my eyes and a shaking hand. It was written in fierce anger, my teeth tearing at my bottom lip. It was written faster than I even knew I was thinking, my mind almost numb while tying to protect itself.
I don’t live with those feelings that inspired some of my best anymore. I have put them behind me, not forgotten but closed in a room I have no reason to visit. I am not on a ship in a rocky sea, trying so hard to hang on. I am stable and I have both my feet planted on solid ground. I am happy. I am loved.
It’s a fair trade, but I still miss it.
