Posts Tagged ‘Jimmy’
They Are My Therapy
11:15 pm. I am laying in bed watching a movie featuring a gloriously good looking young man. I have to get up at 5:30am but I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, smushing my pillow this way and that under my head. I search for the cool spots on the bed with no luck, but I still keep our blanket covering most of me. I always sleep like that.
A familiar tingle runs up my spine and I pray that this wasn’t going to turn into a full blown panic attack. I feel my heart begin to speed up and I throw the covers off and sit on the edge of the bed, attempting to get my body back into control. I stand up and walk halfway down the hallway to the room that holds the two innocent lives that I am responsible for. I have to keep my shit together…I can’t lose it until someone else is here with them. I turn back and go into my bathroom instead, holding on to the counter for dear life. I look up into my reflection and see sheer terror in my eyes. I try to tell myself that I have felt like this before and didn’t die…but my head doesn’t listen. Everything in my body screams that this time is different. This time I will die.
I wish Jim was home.
I go down the stairs and turn the air conditioning up a few notches. I slowly walk back up the steps, trying to keep my heart rate from going any higher than it already is. My cell phone is tightly clenched in my fist, I need to have it near me in case I need it. I am headed back into my room when I decide to go in and look at the boys.
I step over the gate at their door and enter their room. I walk over to Jimmy’s crib first and gently rest my hand on his back. He arches against my hand and scoots his legs under his body bringing his little booty up in the air. I toss a light blanket over him and move on to Chase.
Chase has fallen asleep with 3 Matchbox Cars and a portion of their track. I pull all the toys out of his bed and slowly ease down beside him in his twin bed. Laying flat emphasizes how fast my heart is beating and my body is dying to get up. To move. To pace. Anything. I don’t move. I stay there and concentrate on the up and down of Chase’s chest. I concentrate on the warm weight of his head on my shoulder. I concentrate on them and once again, like so many other times, they save me.
Posted in Uncategorized | 
Tags: anxiety can suck it, family, health, Jimmy, Love, pain, sons, stories | 
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Who doesn’t need a bulldozer to shovel food into their mouth?
I had a really hard time this year when people asked me what to get Jimmy for his birthday. It is a hazard of having boys 18 months apart I guess. I just had a one year old boy not that long ago. I didn’t really need anything. He ended up with some of the normal stuff…some blocks, some clothes and a cool bike thing that will be awesome for this spring and summer from Mom Mom and Pop Pop.
Then there is his gift from his Aunt Kyley. Kyley is one of those super creative artistic types and always gives the best presents to the boys. This was no exception.
At first glance this looks like a pretty normal plate. A little strange sure, but nothing amazing.
Hmmm…the utensils are kinda neat. A truck spoon and a truck fork. Is that a bulldozer? I is confused.
Then I looked a bit closer and the plate and HOLY COW I done figured it out. Me is smart I tell you. The little slots? The better to stab food that is trying to get away. Think of all the elusive peas that will meet their doom in this booby trap of wonder.
Then there is the little groove to set the spoon in. Hmmm…How will the help? I then looked closer and noticed the track leading to said spoon groove. Maybe it…? No. It couldn’t be.
Oh yes, it is.
It is meant to bulldoze food onto the spoon.
Try convincing your kids not to play with their food after they get a load of this!
Birthdays and Balls
It’s been a crazy week, filled with birthday wonderfulness. Jimmy turning one was bittersweet, like I think most first birthdays are. My little baby is getting big so fast, and time goes faster and faster each day. However I adore the little person he is evolving into and I am so proud that he is mine.
We began his birthday on the 27th with a trip to Toys R Us. It is something we did on Chase’s first birthday so we decided it was what we would do for Jimmy as well. Since the whole surprise context doesn’t really come in to play at one, we had a good time walking around and letting the boys mess with stuff. Jimmy was out of his mind happy.
It's Toys R Us time, beeshes!
We ended up leaving the store with a variation of the same gift we gave Chase for his first birthday. We also left with a VERY ANGRY toddler in tow, as he was ticked off he couldn’t bring everything home with us. We got home and set up Jimmy’s present. It was love at first sight.
Look at MEEEE!
Then he danced on Daddy for a bit…
We had dinner and a bath and then…wait for it….
BACK INTO THE BALL PIT! The smile on his face just kills me. He is the happiest little person ever in this thing and it makes the 100 play balls that are now covering my living room at all times completely worth it. Sort of. Well, now that I have made it a game for Chase to put them away. Maybe.
Last night we had dinner and cake with the family, it was a great night and Jimmy had a great time rounding out his birthday the right way.
OH YEAH.
Aquarius
When I learned I was pregnant with Jimmy in May of 2008 I was in serious shock for a while. I literally cried on and off for weeks, I just could not wrap my head around the idea that I was having another baby. I still HAD a baby. Chase was 9 months old when I became pregnant. I was weaning him off the bottle, but now instead of packing them away I was moving them to a higher shelf. I was pregnant.
Right after Chase had his first birthday in July, we transitioned him to a twin bed(which he adored) after he began to climb out of his crib. Instead of taking the crib down, it was simply moved to another wall in the nursery. I was 3 months pregnant.
Fall came and with it came beautiful weather in Pennsylvania. I love fall. Sweater weather is my favorite time of year, just cool enough to need long sleeves but not a jacket. Jim, Chase and I were all in a wedding in October, and Chase was the best little ring bearer ever. Chase loves to play outside and I did my best to keep up with his 15 month old self. He had adventures that needed tending to…I was just along for the ride. I was 6 months pregnant.
The Holidays arrived in a blur of activity that year. I was getting bigger and bigger every day and my February 10th due date was looming. I tried to concentrate on Chase, making this a special time for him. I felt bad that his world was about to be turned upside down, and he just was not at an age yet where I could explain it to him. I was still working weekends as a bartender. I was 7 months pregnant.
New Years Eve Day. I went to my lady bits/baby doctor because I felt awful. She checked me, not expecting to really find anything. She then informed me I was 3cm dilated and needed to head over to L&D for monitoring. I was 34 weeks pregnant. My girlfriend drove me to the hospital, and the looming threat of a premature birth loomed in my head. I was hooked up to the monitors and luckily sent home, but on bed rest until delivery. Chase was 17 months old and I was on strict bed rest.
January 17th. Chase gets croup and we land ourselves in the ER at 3am for a breathing treatment. I am 4cm at this point and crying because I don’t know what to do if I have the baby before Chase gets better.
January 24th. Chase is 18 months old.
January 26th. I am 5cm dilated but not in labor (whaaaaaaaaaat?)
January 27th, 2009. My baby makes his way into this world and into our hearts. Born at exactly 38 weeks, 6lb 12oz and healthy.
Happy Birthday James Mason. My Jimmy Jamboree. The Jamster. Jimmy Bo-bimee. Little J. Jimbo Junior.
I love you.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: babies, family, Jimmy, Love, momin' it up, sons, two under two | 8 Comments »
Brothers
My boys are 18 months apart, almost to the day. It has been a wild ride, one that I wouldn’t change for the world.
The first meeting in the hospital
6 weeks and 19 months
5am, at least THEY are happy
6 months and 2 years
Watching the progression of their relationship has truly been an amazing experience.
December 09 and in a new house
Hey Mommy!
2 1/2 years and 11 months
Oh the brotherly love!
I think the faces they are making at each other in the last picture really says it all.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tags: babies, brothers, C, Jimmy, Love, relationships, sons | 3 Comments »
