Posts Tagged ‘geez louise’
Quirky McQuirkenheimer
Everyone has those little bits of random that are theirs alone. Sometimes they are aren’t noticeable, sometimes they are glaringly obvious. Being the little sister in my family, I found any of my eccentricities were pointed out with relish, the more public the setting the better. Sort of like when I got my period for the first time and that evening at dinner my Mom announced to the dinner table “Allison has become a woman today!”.
Yeah. Like that.
I will admit that I do have some quirks. Most of them seem to revolve around eating, but not all. For example, I rarely take a bit OUT of anything. I prefer to cut it into pieces that I can just pop into my mouth. This goes for pretty much anything: fruit, sandwiches, pizza…whatever. I seriously destroy my food. I blame it on 3 years of braces. Anyone who has had those brackets of doom understands that biting into anything is just asking for hours of cleaning later. Jim, however, is of the opinion that I am just a little crazy.
I also LOATHE eating in public. Apparently this is an actual type of eating disorder, but I am not extreme with it. When I was little we would go out to eat as a family and I would pick and pick, barely touching my food. We would leave and as soon as we got in the car I would tear into my leftovers. They never had a chance. As I grew older and realized I had to actually cook in order to eat of home it got a little better. I am still much more likely to get take-out than I am to eat IN a restaurant…but I can do it without as much angst now.
One of Jim’s favorite things to pick on my for happens during my bedtime routine. When I finally make it to bed I always put lotion on my feet. I have super dry skin on my tootsies and it is uncomfortable to the point of pain if I don’t lube them up. BUT…I don’t want my hands covered in lotion. So I squirt the lotion onto one foot and rub the soles of my feet together to spread it. Are you getting this visual? I’m sure it is rather entertaining to watch…but I HAVE to do it.
What little things do you do?
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Grumble Grumble.
I’m grumpy today. So I am going to enlighten you all with an incredibly unoriginal post about what makes me grumpy. And annoyed. And generally just pissed the eff off. Cause you KNOW you really want to know.
* When the mailman pulls into our development right as I am pulling out. I am SO OCD about getting the mail and it makes me nuts to have to go to work without getting it out of the mailbox.
* People who come to the ER seeking detox and then sign themselves out AMA (against medical advice) 30 minutes after they get admitted. HOLY PAPERWORK BATMAN. So irritating.
*Being damp. I worked at my serving job on Wednesday night and when they washed the floors in the kitchen the cuffs of my pants got wet. Then I sat down and they touched my bare calf. EWWWWWW.
*The fact I dumped an entire plate of Chinese food that I was SO looking forward to eating all over my car yesterday.
*Trying to wrangle the kids + diaper bag + work bag + lunch ALL the way to another parking lot to my car because they are resealing the macadam in front of our house. WTF. The freaking pavement was fine before. Fuckers. They are out to get me.
*Pumping my own gas. You would think that after 10 years in this god forsaken state I would be used to it. But no. I miss living in New Jersey.
* Knowing that class starts back up again in two weeks from Monday. I wouldn’t care so much if I wasn’t taking a math class. Me and math? We don’t really see eye to eye.
*Having no kiddie medicine in the house because it all got fracking recalled.
*Knowing that if I get into the nursing program that I want I will be able to do NOTHING fun next summer. Nothing. At. All.
Sigh. I’m depressing myself. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Cop Knock
You know the one I’m talking about. Three hard raps on the door. It can only mean one thing.
The Makisupas are here.
My morning started ungodly early…as always. It was now 7am and Jimmy had been awake for more than a hour. Chase had just woken up and I was changing his diaper.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
I was immediately transported to the mindset of a much younger version of myself. A much shadier version of myself. A much more scared of the Po Po version of myself. I poked me head into the office to peek out the window.
EEK! A cop car. I was right. Then I remembered that I’m not shady anymore. Now I was pissed. Why the hell were the police knocking on my door at 7am?
I answered the door and stepped into the sun room, squinting in the light. The floor was freezing (um…hello 55 degrees on Sept 1st) and I was not happy about all this. He started asking me questions about if I had seen anyone walking around the neighborhood early this morning. Dude. It’s 7am, how early are we talking. I told him that I hadn’t, and even if I had…I wouldn’t have paid attention since the drunk down the street walks home from the bar at all hours anyway. He thanked me, and told me to have a nice day.
YO. DUDE. Can a girl get some details? My imagination is not something to let run rampant with information like this. By noon I will have myself convinced that a serial killer is hiding in the corn field (yes, there is a corn field across from my house,no, I do not live in the boonies), when really some kid was probably trying to sneak a padlock on the gate of the little league baseball diamond behind my house. UGH. Now I’m going to be thinking about this all day.
Oh…and Mr. Makisupa Man? Thanks for the reminder that I HADN’T been woken up by a cop knock on my door at 7am. I wish I could sleep that late.
It was as bad as I imagined
I went for my physical yesterday. Oh boy.
I signed in, took a seat in the waiting room and pulled out my book. I only got a few pages into it before I was called back. I got taken into a room that had one of those chairs that is only meant for one thing. Getting blood drawn.
Sigh
Oh well. I knew that was going to have to happen, since I don’t have hard copies of my immunization records. They will need to run my blood to see what I am immune to, and then vaccinate from there. I thought at that point maybe I was off the hook for shots, at least until I got they got my blood work done.
I was very very wrong. She very cheerfully informed me that along with the blood draw I would be getting a Tetanus shot(also with Pertussis), a TB test and a Hepatitis B vaccine. I would also need to come back in ten days for the second part of the TB test.
That’s FOUR needles right then, another needle in ten days, plus two flu shots this fall. Holy Shit. This was not going to end well.
I told the nurse, with panic in my voice that I don’t do well with needles. I can give shots, I can watch shots…I can’t get shots. She told me if I wanted the job, I was getting the shots.
Crap. Good point.
She was fast: one shot in each arm, a blood draw in the left and the TB in the right. As she was finishing up she was turning back to tell me what a great job I had done. I chose that moment to pass out.
Yep. I passed out. Fainted. Lost consciousness.
Ya’ll can point and laugh now, I’ll understand. I’m a pansy ass. I didn’t even get a lollipop. What the hell?
Can someone please tell me…
Why it takes ALL THIS:
To Hold THIS:
In a box??? It doesn’t even have any moving parts!
Holy over-packaging BatMan.
