I haven’t done a Random Tuesday Thoughts post in a LONG time, but since my brain is all sugar and carb-less and apparently doesn’t function well without pasta and bread and sugar OH MY…this is the best ya’ll are gonna get out of me today so just deal with it and don’t give me a lot of crap because I just can’t take it and I want to eat an Easy Mac and I don’t like water there is an IZZE in the fridge just looking at me and calling my name but instead I am eating celery. Sigh.

In case you couldn’t tell from the above rant, I am currently on Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. Otherwise known as the ” Eat all the meat and cheese you want but if you even LOOK at bread you FAIL!” diet. It’s making me a little crazy and I am only on day one. Thirteen more to go. I’m not going to make it.

I am picking up a few bartending/serving shifts at my old job to help pay for BlogHer. I would attempt to find a sponsor…but to be honest I’m a bit lazy and I don’t feel like dealing with anyone else’s agenda for those days other than my own. And on my agenda? The FattyPattyLivesOnBakedGoodsExtravaganza. SHIT! Now I am thinking about carbs! Nom Nom Nom.

Splenda tastes like ass.

Anyone have any idea how expensive it is to REMOVE an in-ground pool? Holy cow, it’s nuts! hmmm…nuts…I am actually allowed to have some of those.

I have a stupid cowlick and no matter HOW hard I try, my hair always parts funny. Makes me stabby.

Chase will never be potty trained. I am going to give up now since he just peed on my foot for the umpteenth time while holding a conversation with me. He just doesn’t care.

Jimmy has the same cowlick as I do. Poor baby- maybe that’s why he is so pissed off all the time.

Go see Keely, yo.