I am not a patient person. Seriously. I could be a spokesperson for JD Wentworth. It’s MY MONEY and I WANT IT NOW! Waiting for anything makes me twitchy. I try my best to keep my impulses to ruin surprises for myself at bay, but I just can’t.

Waiting twenty weeks to find out if I was carrying a boy or girl was pure torture for me. I ran through every name scenario, looked at HUNDREDS of bedding sets. I hated that something this big I had no control over. I wanted to know NOW.

I can sniff out a gift no matter what sort of hiding skills you think you have. My CIA skills are untouchable. The first Christmas that Jim and I celebrated as a couple I thought I would be smart and shop early. Sounds good in theory, except every night we would get drunk and I would give him a gift because I just couldn’t wait. Then of course I would guilt him into giving me one of mine so it would be FAIR. We had the 12 days of Christmas up in this piece for sure.

Jim and I got engaged on Christmas Eve in 2006. It would have been a lovely surprise if not for a voice mail left on our home phone one day informing him “his purchase was ready”. Well…that put my secret scoping out skills into overdrive for sure. Our house was small…there was only a limited amount of places it could be. After trying to oh so slyly find it, I realized where it was. In a fire safe. UNDER MAH BED. How was I supposed to sleep knowing my ring was under my bed? Jim thought he was being so sneaky…but I admit it here first peeps…I saw my ring before he proposed. I CAN’T HELP MYSELF.

This all being said, I made a couple large purchases on Friday. One being a new laptop so I can go all kinds of Office Space (think fax machine+baseball bats) on this one. Another being a Canon Rebel XSi. I am so beyond excited for these to be delivered. Unfortunately, ordering anything on Friday online is not conducive with being impatient. I was FINE waiting until Monday for them to come. I really was.

Until I saw that my baby, my beautiful camera, HAS BEEN SITTING IN THE UPS IN MY TOWN SINCE 7am ON SATURDAY MORNING.

For realz UPS? I tried calling to see if I could pick it up…but to no avail. Bitches. I better be first on their delivery route if they know what’s good for them.

Or the driver better be hot enough I forget I was waiting.